if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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