I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize