Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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