I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
