i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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