i don't like sucking hair
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
