I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
