is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
