nut hugger
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
