Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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