I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
