i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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