playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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