Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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