He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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