dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
