Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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