after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
