Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
