Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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