i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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