Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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