just tell him i said nine months
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
