Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
