are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
