They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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