i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
When are your genitals available?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
