That's when you crack a 10am beer
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
