Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
