It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
