oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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