you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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