I wannas sexs uuuuu
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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