You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
