Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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