so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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