its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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