u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
