They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
