I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize