david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
