I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
