I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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