I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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