Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize