there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
