community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
