therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize