just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
