think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
