Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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