Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
