Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
