Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Im part way to drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
