Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
