I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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