'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
