I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
soo... how was my night?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
