so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
