But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
