i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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