her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is wine microwaveable?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize