OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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