I got chris browned last night
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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