He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
MIDGETS
????
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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