Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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