The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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