Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
