this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
