Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
