my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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