Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
